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There are old with little mother to two daughters why "cruel" pull the black WeChat?

2018-11-05 14:58 beijing evening news TF017

The more than 80 year old mother to take care of themselves, waiting for the girl to serve; just climb up the grandson with no one, waiting to help grandma...... Regardless of which end? This is a lot of about sixty years old at the beginning of the old family heart tangled. There are old, under a small, family members can not take into account the problem, once the middle-aged, now has become the "sandwich man" dilemma.

The illustrations of Song Xi

dilemma

In order to grandson, did not see the father for the last time

Wang Hui was the daughter of the WeChat pull the black on the 10 day, she occasionally secretly see her hair circle of friends, or check out the grandson of the photos, but these 10 days, she refused to communicate with her daughter. "My head has shares of grievances, do not know where to send, also took the opportunity to exercise it, although no effect." Wang Hui frustrated.

Let her make the move is to take care of the fuse two grandchildren, his father died, more than 20 hours on the plane back to her, only in his father's bedside crying. "I was the eldest child, dad usually loved my old man, 86, listen to my mom, for me, and for four or five hours, go not closed." Although it has been over one hundred days of death, but the mention of his father, Wang Hui could not help tears, she did not dare to father's psychology and the scene.

Wang Hui's father suffering from diabetes for many years, as well as high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, from six years ago in a wheelchair. Not retired, because his daughter has to go abroad to study, Wang Hui and his wife every day to visit the elderly, often living in the old house. This change in the previous year, Wang Hui had little grandson, daughter's mother-in-law had retired, Wang Hui had to pack up and rushed to the United States to her children. After the expiration of 6 months after being sent to the daycare center, Wang Hui returned home to rest a few months, during this period, she found the father's health deteriorated. The doctor said he perennial medication, gastrointestinal damage, many organs are aging, let us pay attention to the family."

Wang Hui and love to discuss, both parents moved to live. "Because my father-in-law mother-in-law died, so we were a little pressure, some friends the couple also had to take care of the old man, more difficult." Life is just on the right track, the daughter of Wang Hui at the end of last year and turned to her daughter: 7 months of pregnancy, I hope she can help you to go abroad. There was no way for Wang Hui, had arrived in the United States, "the son every day to go to New York by train to work, and truly. Daughter also needs to take care of the boss, that labor is expensive, the couple also can not afford the cost of childcare, children are really difficult."

At the beginning of June this year, Wang Hui received a phone call from her husband, so she rushed home, his father was dying. When a flight is already in the evening, Wang Hui immediately set for the first second days. The two grandchildren to sleep, she sat silently for a long time in the bed and went to the kitchen to a pot of steamed buns, still pack more than 100 dumplings, the fridge filled to the brim, "the girl would not now be steamed buns, the children eat stuffing."

Eventually did not see the father for the last time, Wang Hui always can't forgive myself. Less than a month after his father died, her daughter asked her to go abroad, "said very politely, let me change your heart. My child, what can I say?! However, I temporarily not to go, still have to spend more time with my mom, my dad went to the big blow to her. Is a more than 80 years old man, I'm really worried."

Go home to take care of the old mother to child "off"

Last weekend, Li Yingxia had just returned to Beijing from his home, although she is very want to take care of the mother for several months, but the daughter vacation has expired, just over 1 years old grandson also not unattended, so her "holiday" is only the end. "I sometimes complain to my mother, come back to look after the old man, still have to" fake "daughter-in-law. My mother advised me "who don't also wronged wronged child ', always urging me to come back, my heart is special taste."

Li Yingxia felt particularly sorry for his mother, father has been dead for more than ten years, Li Yingxia from a young age to work in Beijing, the mother has been living alone in the home, Li Yingxia's younger brother a while living in a city, but the old man refused to drag his son, do not want to live in son home. Old man isn't good now, have no more than two years out of their own yard, ferial rice and vegetables are the son to send bursts, or ask the neighbors for help to buy.

"I want to retire after the return home to take care of the old mother, which was caught on the sun." Li Yingxia felt that this generation is not particularly easy: when young parents early independence, did not get too much attention, also does not allow the social environment; often work overtime when middle-aged, old man, did not help with the children; when they retire, they can not enjoy the "sunset red" life, "parents are eight ninety years old, every two or three days ran hospital, grandchildren is still small, and now we are pointing to these grandparents to help with the! Where is your responsibility, which don't take good care of all account is not in the past, your body is not healthy!"

Li Yingxia also spoke of the Qin Shikun complain. He and his wife together from their hometown to Beijing to help her children, but his own, over ninety years old mother, but was still in the home alone for rural students. Although the old man's body is still tough, the home also has a brother to help, but Qin Shikun has always been a little worried. "Such a great age, sometimes say no, I was my mother's favorite son, come home every time, she was under the pillow to hide me good, I really want to accompany her to live a few years."

But his daughter and son-in-law usually work very nervous, his wife couldn't do the housework and look after the children, Qin Shikun need help buying food and cooking. Qin Shikun only in the mind, sometimes inevitably criticized his daughter not independent, "when we were young, working three shifts, her mother and I are all round to wash their clothes and cooking, which have their way, when they are sleeping children to sleep, now young people are too hard."

compromise

Please give the mother to accompany her cousin, plus a nanny

Although the girl pull black for a few days, but with their children and angry how long, Wang Hui recently had to reconsider future arrangements -- and she is going to go together to help her lover for one or two years, and then return home. The father died, Wang Hui with the original friends and relatives to strengthen ties, hoping to find the mother of a long-term companion from relatives and friends.

Fortunately, she quickly found the right person: happy family's sister early widowed, a few years ago laid off at home, her son is working in the field, not yet married, cousin in recent years without too much burden on the family, but the economic pressure. My cousin Wang Huigen several times to talk, to help her cousin, to accept their own hiring, help yourself to take care of his mother.

During this period, Wang Hui also repeatedly to domestic companies to interview mothers choose a fixed working hours, then please stay home with her cousin, cousin also 50 years old, hard work, to work hours. Please accompany me to talk to her mother, they can also travel together to visit the markets, watching TV, there are people can communicate with my mom."

Repeatedly to persuade the times, cousin down concerns, agreed to help. Wang Hui and mother had to do ideological work, finally at ease, "my mom thought it would take a few thousand dollars, a little distressed, I had to say to her, only you good, I can go to see grandchildren. Mother finally let me also to rest assured, agreed to, also comfort I said: eyes long is looking down, let the children older generation, don't let me as unalterable principles, with the child angry."

Recently, the daughter of Wang Hui also proposed, with two grandchildren before the Christmas holiday to return to visit his grandmother, Wang Hui also promised his daughter, after the Spring Festival and a lover to help her children off the United states. "After two years, grandchildren are big, I should be able to come back. At that time, my mother has great age, I will not go anywhere. My father left behind in regret, can not be repeated".

A home care Niang, a Beijing to take care of his granddaughter

Like Wang Hui can find friends means lucky or minority, more elderly people unable to two cases, couples had to. Fang Xiaoyun is the last choice so she went to Beijing to her children, husband to take care of her mother.

"That is to help care for the elderly, but also is to give my mother a companion. My wife also borrow this reason to stay at home, he is not willing to come." For her husband, Fang Xiaoyun, there are also complaining, take care of the elderly, after all, can live in their own homes, life does not change too much. To a strange place with children, gay men do not too easy to accept."

Although most elderly people are faced with the choice of sandwich chose to take care of the children, but they also have to choose their own. In addition, do not trust the health of the elderly, also worried that their pay is not understood by children. "When do we choose each time, including our elders, for children, their needs to a minimum, but this kind of sacrifice, the children understand? They will give us concessions as behoove?!"

 

Source: Beijing evening news reporter Zhou Mingjie

Editor: TF017

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