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Grandma and grandma who is more suitable for help with the baby? Young parents' attitude is the key

2018-11-05 11:12 beijing evening news TF019

"Mom, grandma, Grandpa and grandma to enjoy." I do not know what time from the beginning, the words pop up. Many people have this feeling of acquaintances around all at home to bring their children to the elderly, most of them is to help grandma, grandma but rarely appeared. Grandma see children seem to have become a common rules. "Why now is not grandma grandma kids?" This topic is often a hot topic on the network, mother, grandmother, grandmother who is deeply felt, the wife complained that her mother-in-law, grandma shouted wronged, grandmother distressed girl...... Which side to the elderly and children, has become a complex social problem.

Wu Wei mapping

Different living habits

Mother and daughter both Wohuo

Xiao Wang is a new mother, after giving birth to her mother-in-law, is take the initiative to help her children from home. Don't live together, the relationship between small Wang and her mother is very good, can really live to an eave, gunpowder was concentrated up. In fact, not what the sharp contradiction between them, just let two people has different living habits gradually. For example, mother cook, love to do the same as clean cut, end dish, knife and chopping board immediately washed away; use spatula, strainer, are also immediately put back on the stove; while hot rice, on the side of the stove and lampblack machine clean...... Basically is served, the kitchen and did not move. Small Wang is the opposite, she would have used all the utensils are headlong into a pool of water, daily necessaries bottles everywhere, the stove and the lampblack machine is full of grease...... Finish each meal, the kitchen is in a complete mess. However, Xiao Wang is not lazy, she will do a thorough cleaning after the meal, the kitchen still spotless. But she was distasteful to brides, every time at her meal, this let Xiao Wang was particularly annoyed. "I'm not clean up, why did the same to pack the same? I finally gathered together to pick up, did not delay things?" Xiao Wang particularly do not understand mother's approach, a few words will lead to arguments between both of a slobber war.

Buy things too, mother-in-law home population, buy food used to buy a lot, the son came home, a small population, a lot of potatoes bought back often did not eat the germination of cucumber, finally rotten in the fridge. To this end, the mother-in-law daughter-in-law no less to criticism. But every time I see daughter-in-law bought a potato, a cucumber, an onion when mother couldn't help nagging, "buy this order enough who eat? A disk installed dissatisfaction, also let people eat? If the home to the guests, which they also chopsticks? This is not you off the premises?" Her hometown is exquisite, cooking must do more, the rest does not matter, but not enough to eat, but Xiao Wang's mother taught her how to eat, how do the rest of it is a waste of food.

In short, life is full of these trifles, innocuous things, but let the law both feel unable to get along with. After her mother looked two months son in Beijing, with full of grievances back. Small Wang grandmother to see children. Grandma came home, the tension immediately disappeared, Niangliang habits is almost the same, the probability of conflict is much lower, even the occasional friction, each other will not mind the complaint. Now, the grandmother has here help Xiao Wang took more than half a child, grandparents in 51, Mid Autumn Festival this holiday came to see the child, we live in peace, and returned to the state of harmonious relations.

Grandma is the first

Wife feel cold

The reporter interviewed a number of mother, only a home is in the parents help the children, the rest is to help grandma grandpa. When asked why, almost all is difficult to deal with the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law -- by common consent. However, not all of the law are not in harmony. Leaves with her mother happy. They not only take care of grandchildren, also do all the housework, even the utilities will help them pay a small husband and wife, to buy things for the grandchildren are their own money, never with her son and daughter-in-law opened mouth.

Mother is love with little grandson, but felt this leaves too much love often get the opposite. Mother is always worried about her grandson cold, give the child wrapped a layer after layer. In the spring, the children in the village are wearing unlined garment when go out, grandmother grandson wearing a small cotton padded jacket, the child is hot and sweaty, bursts from eczema. In kindergarten meals, diet is after nutrition research institutions, to ensure that every day the balanced diet and adequate nutrition, but her mother is always worried about grandchildren eat every day sooner or later, but also to the children and two meals, even if the child has eaten support, grandma kept to the child mouth......

Let the leaves feel unacceptable, she always feel with their own children for the mother in "sovereignty". The child was originally ran toward the mother, grandmother was the first step to pick up the child in the kindergarten organization; parent-child activities, originally let mother and children play together, but if not to let Grandma, grandma will be very upset...... The leaves feel, what things get in front of grandma, she make a lot less opportunity to strengthen parent-child relationship with the baby. So, even if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very good, she always feel the mother-in-law in the children, she felt a bit to touch.

To help with the baby?

Grandma shouted wronged

When asked why is grandma with a child, a lot of daughter-in-law will say, mother-in-law to help with the children, had to let Grandma to. It was a lot of grandma's back - "we are unwilling to take, or you do not want to let us take?" Grandma have said, how old does not hurt your grandchildren? As long as the body conditions allow, grandma is generally willing to help with the children.

"A thankless task!" A problem with children, Yang aunt anger not yet appeased. "It is my son's home, I at home like a stranger, what to see daughter-in-law's face, do what I do is too bad, it was there doing?" Aunt Yang said, he is the first volunteer to see grandchildren, but less than a month, because the sum of daughter-in-law trouble, may not have come back.

"Love their daughter, afraid of the girl with children too tired, want to help her sharing." Yan aunt said she took the children to Beijing to help her daughter, did not consider this to have tired, more expense, is simply out of love for her daughter. Son repeatedly proposed to her hard, she refused. She felt herself, only such a baby daughter, children has very hard, maternity leave and going to work to make money, is more difficult, the mother can make a be should be something that the less overworked daughter. As for helping her, she doesn't care.

"The child's family"

Grandma took baby too careful

But all the children threw grandma, not only whether it is fair, on both sides of the old grandmother is overworked, will have a certain impact on children. In the traditional concept of Chinese, no matter is the grandson or granddaughter, is the man's children, grandma grandpa is always the outsider. So my grandparents with children, will naturally think that this is "to give their children", but there is always a grandma grandpa "to help people with children" psychological. In this way, Grandma see a child, it is with profound respect and humility.

When Lu aunt to her children, all day is always on tenterhooks for children to have the slightest mishap. Many children can do their own thing, she stopped. When you go out, a second child can not leave her vision; the children scrambled to sit slide, swing, she did not dare to let granddaughter try, afraid of what goes wrong, no way to explain laws. My daughter took the children to participate in collective activities when it found that the child is very timid, other children are very happy to climb down, laughing his child standing in front of the recreation facilities, scared to lift, turn holding grandma legs crying.

[experts]

No matter who.

To be grateful

For what is the child or children to see grandma Grandma see the topic, the network is also hot. The famous pediatrician Bao Xiulan also launched a discussion on this topic, and it attracted nearly 10000 users ". Bao Xiulan believes that the reason why there is now grandma with children than grandma more, mainly for three reasons: one by the grandmother with children can avoid the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law not home, grandma with a child is a very normal phenomenon. Two is the grandmother and grandmother with a baby which is different, will teach children to call her "grandma, Dad, Grandpa" while ignoring the mother's presence, some more than her mother-in-law, and will treasure mom for children rather love, believe only they can take good care of their children. Third, if is the mother with a baby, for ordinary families, the mother-in-law is hope treasure mom can go after a month of work, it can not only share the family economy, but also can let the treasure dad could easily. Can take the baby to grandma is not the same, grandma will certainly want to treasure the mother can rest, help the body recover.

National two counselors Yan Beibei said that the law does not require people to have the duty to bring up their grandchildren, they take care of the third generation of children out of love. What is the grandmother or grandmother to children, the actual situation of each family is not the same, it is difficult to say clearly. But there is a need for clear, help young couple to take care of the children of the elderly, whether grandmother or grandmother, young people must be grateful, not to pay the elderly see behoove to the elderly more understanding, and filial piety.

 

Source: Beijing evening news reporter: Lili

Editor: TF019

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